Sewing, Shopping and Singing for the Kingdom
When church becomes your family

Tracing God In My Own Scary


They kept asking me when the lump first appeared. That statement alone made me nervous. I didn’t know the exact answer. I just knew one day I looked in the mirror and kind of saw a lump. I felt it and the thing seemed abnormal in size. I asked my husband about it and he agreed.


Before I went to the doctor, I researched the Internet for clues. What can cause a lump to appear on one’s throat? I know we should never get our medical diagnoses from the Internet. I felt healthy and was not experiencing any pain. And I thought a little more information would help me decide if I should go to a doctor or not.


One of the things I read suggested it could be an infection lumped together in my throat.  A build up of sorts. If this was the case, the lump would take time to go away.


It was a busy few weeks for me, as I prepared to head out of town. So, I decided to give it some time and see how things progressed.


The lump didn’t seem to change at all. Not bigger. Maybe smaller. But that could just have been my tendency to see the glass as half full.


I decided to share a prayer request with my Bible study ladies on a Wednesday night. I suddenly felt like I sat in a roomful of many mothers. Which in fact I did. They unanimously encouraged me to go see a doctor. Like, tomorrow.


I called my doctor’s office and they got me in the next day. Often, God works like that. I let some of the ladies know my appointment time so they could be praying specifically. 


The doctor agreed the lump was, well, weird. Again, no other symptoms. I had some blood work drawn, they ran a few tests and performed an ultrasound. She had me schedule an appointment with a surgeon and planned to send along my test results to his office before I met with him.


Then I entered into this surreal waiting game. I knew I’d had this lump for a while. I remembered what I’d read on the Internet. I thought about my friends with thyroid issues. Also those who had experienced cancer. 


Tracing God In My Own Scary #cancer #thyroidcondition #cancerawareness.


One friend in particular who on a Sunday morning shared with our church her testimony as a leukemia survivor. Who told us when she was first diagnosed, she confidently told God, “OK, you and me, we’ll glorify you through this disease. Together.” But, in her own words, “Even though I said that in the beginning, I didn’t feel like that when health issues plagued me for years after. God and I did a lot of wrestling in those days. There was some yelling and screaming when surviving and suffering went hand in hand for too long.” She fought the battle of a lifetime with great bravery. There were days she could hardly take the next breath, let alone glorify God with those breaths. I didn’t want to glorify God in that way.  


All of these thoughts. Always just a thought or two away.


But I had put out my call for prayer. I had loving Christian sisters checking in on me. I had a husband who took time out of his busy schedule to be there for appointments. God more than had me covered.

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of much more value than them?” Matthew 6:26

Now, this passage actually reminds us to not worry about what we eat, drink or wear. But I have been walking with Jesus a lot of years. And I know the truth of this verse extends far beyond our daily, material needs. Look at the birds of the air... are you not of much more value than them?




Whatever the outcome of the tests, I was God’s and He was mine. I had a peace about me; you know, the one that passes all understanding, and it promised to guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:7)


(If you are a believer and find yourself waiting for a medical answer like this, don’t beat yourself up if you struggle to find calm and peace. We are all made differently. Pray towards more calm and peace. Pray Psalm 139:23. But let’s not expect our stories, or our faith, to be identical.)


My husband and I met with the surgeon a few days later. I was thankful to schedule my follow up appointments just days apart. Traces of God’s faithfulness. Right before the appointment, I had a call from my mom and two messages from friends all saying they were praying. 


My blood work came back normal. Still no other symptoms of illness. The surgeon had an idea what was causing the lump and he thought it was a treatable, non-threatening condition. But we had to rule out cancer.


The “c” word. Uttered aloud by him. About me.


So, I scheduled a biopsy. I had already walked this path with a dear friend of mine last October. Neither of us could have known just six months later, she would accompany me to a biopsy of my own. 


The procedure was simple. Not painful. Again, the doctor performing the biopsy expressed her doubts about it being cancerous. But we all, especially me, had to be sure.


The biopsy came back clear! Cancer free. Still with a lump in my throat.


I went on thyroid medication after my initial appointment with the surgeon. Praise God in three weeks on the medicine, the visible lump has disappeared! The nodules inside will not disappear completely, but they continue to shrink. Apparently, I have some disconnect between a gland in my head and some nodules in my throat. I don’t know a name for my condition. Just some lengthy medical explanation.


I share this story with you for a couple of reasons. 


When (not if) you encounter a scary chapter in life, don’t let yourself go through it alone.

Share the experience with trusted friends and family. Keep them updated. Let yourself know they are praying. Feel that power. Seek the peace that only comes from Jesus.


Secondly, Psalm 139 tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made and God knows all of us.

Even the days ordained for us. Let Him take care of the details. My body for some reason isn’t operating just right. But God knows that. I trust Him.


Times like this, I always wonder how people who have not given their lives to Jesus can handle such scariness.

So much unknown. With a little help from others, the Lord carried me through this. 

“The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever - do not abandon the works of your hands.” Psalm 138:8



 I am happy to share this post with Emily Freeman's readers over at Chatting at the Sky.  





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