To the woman whose husband doesn’t join her at church, 

I see you. Literally watch for you every Sunday to make sure you don’t sit all alone. 

I’ll beeline through the crowd for you every time. To give you a hug. Ask about your morning. Welcome your kids to church.

Maybe you had a husband. Or you’ve never had a husband. Perhaps he finds other things to do on Sunday mornings.

God equipped me to understand you. Things in my own life to give me empathy. How hard it can be to get the kids ready by yourself. To sit among the distraction of squirming, noisy children. Feeling alone. But you need to be there.

I am you some Sundays. My husband decides to forego church sometimes. But my mom. She is always you. 

Sunday after Sunday.

A single woman in a married world. Attending Sunday School among couples. So thankful for the times you find another single friend. Buddy system. Because then you’re no longer alone.

What I want you to hear is this. You’re never alone.

The Spirit of the living God resides in you. He moves in your life and gives you great purpose. The church needs you.

I have learned much about women’s ministry these past few years. I know how we need it. To give all women a safe place to be heard. 

I hear you. Please know you have a place in our midst. 

On the Sundays when the sermon is about marriage. And the pastor encourages couples to talk about spiritual things together. Pray about your financial giving as a family. He asks how our couples’ devotional time is going. Do you read the Bible with each other? I know you squirm.

I feel you. Seated next to me.

These days, you’re busy living out this verse: 

“The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty.” I Peter 3:1-2 (The Message)

Yours is one of holy beauty. If you could see through my eyes, you’d see your holiness as beautiful. No, more than that, if you could see through our Father’s eyes, you are lavishly loved.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” I John 3:1 (NIV)

Do your thing with Jesus. Never stop. Because let me share what I have learned from you.

Love isn’t performance-based. Legalism falls rather flat when you do your best to love those in your own family who don’t go to church. You learn the hard way that grace trumps legalism.

We must trust God in all things. Most days, it doesn’t seem like your husband sees the journey you’re walking. He can’t see how strong your faith is becoming. But it’s not true. A lie from our enemy for certain. And for those who live alone. Trust that God’s at work. Even when we can’t see it. Have faith.

Get involved in the body of believers. There are women just like you, and women younger than you, who need to hear your voice. They need to learn from the lessons you’re living. Further, we must realize even when we attend church solo, God doesn’t have us on a solo journey. Someone shares your struggles.

Train up a child in the way he should go. I am a product of a family like yours. My mom did the faith work. All three of her children walk with the Lord as a result. The fruit of her labors.

She sat in the pew all alone. She served without a spouse by her side. She wasn’t at church every time the doors were open because sometimes it was best for her marriage if she stayed at home.

Keep praying for your husband. Or for a husband-to-be. Or that God would help you be content on your own. But know in your heart of hearts, God is pleased with you. Someday, He’ll speak these words over you:

“His master said to [her], ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will se you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’” Matthew 25:23 (ESV)